


Feather Fall

by Blue_Sparkle, Thorinsmut



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Cookie is a Good Girl, Illustrated Fic, Jewish Characters, M/M, Magic AU, Magical Violence, Modern AU, Nightmares, PTSD, Panic Attacks, Wingfic, angel!Nori, ex-soldier!Dwalin, service dog
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-09
Updated: 2019-01-12
Packaged: 2019-07-10 06:03:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15943274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blue_Sparkle/pseuds/Blue_Sparkle, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorinsmut/pseuds/Thorinsmut
Summary: The thing about crossing into the mortal plane was that you lost all memory of--- of wherever it was you were before.





	1. Intro

**Author's Note:**

> This collab has been in the works for a long time! Val and I are very proud to finally begin bringing it into the world.  
> Hang on to your hats, and enjoy!  
> <3  
> TS

 

 

The thing about crossing into the mortal plane was that you lost all memory of--- of wherever it was you were before. Oh, Nori could _remember_ remembering, knew that he had come to the mortal world on purpose, and had chosen to come here time and time again, but he didn't remember what happened between visits. He knew who he was, but not what he was, or where he came from. He knew things without knowing how he'd learned them, had skills with no recollection of how he'd acquired them.

The transition got easier, with practice, but there was no amount of practice that could take away the horrified sense of loss those first few minutes. The gaping awareness of being _not right_. Incomplete.

It was in that moment, disoriented and sick with grief, that he was attacked.

Nori couldn't even see what it was. All he knew was that it hurt. That his selfhood was torn into, that his power was ripped away from him so he didn't even have enough to hold his chosen shape. That his scream was stolen from his lips into silence.

There was nothing he could hit, when he swung in panic. He didn't have the strength left to raise his--- his defenses, nowhere near enough to pass back through to--- to the other place. He was bereft, adrift, helpless. The death-cold claws of the _thing_ pierced deeper into him, taking more.

There was nothing but pain and instinct, now, and Nori screamed another silent scream as he ran. Away. He had to get away. His wild flailing or his shambling run must have dislodged it, or else he was just too empty of power to be worth destroying for the last of it.

 _Hide_. Nori didn't question the instinct. He crammed his body into the smallest space he could find. He was shaking, little gasped sobs making their way out of his mouth now he was no longer under the things' power. He shoved his fist against his mouth, biting his knuckles to try and silence himself, wrapped his limbs tight around his freezing-cold body, and made himself as small and quiet as he could. Hide. Hide.

Small and quiet and unseen and unsafe, unsafe, but as safe as he _could_ be.


	2. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which our protagonists meet

Dwalin was on his way back from an evening grocery run when Cookie went on high alert. She had on her spiked collar, so she knew to look tough and stick close to him. There was nothing better than a big pitbull to provide a barrier between him and the world. She was good at her job, dedicated, so when she stopped trotting along at his side, he noticed.

She had stopped completely, and was staring hard down a dark alley.

"C'mon girl," Dwalin urged, jogging a few more steps and clapping his free hand against his leg to get her attention. It was usually enough to get her back on track those rare times she got distracted by wildlife.

Cookie whined, glancing back and forth between him and whatever was in the alley. She danced in place, the way she only did when she was torn between obeying him and following her training.

She was trained to help people in distress.

Dwalin went back to her, on alert himself. He clipped the leash she didn't usually need so close to home to her collar. There was a nip of frost in the air, now he wasn't moving, and he zipped his jacket up as he strained his eyes searching for whatever she was responding to. The alley looked empty to him, shadowed in the early fall dusk. Cookie whined again, looking up at him and down the alley.

Dwalin trusted her judgement. She'd saved him more than enough times, hadn't she? All he had to lose was a few minutes if it was nothing. "Show me," he commanded.

Cookie made a beeline for the dumpster, ignoring the stinking garbage bags piled against its front. She looked into the gap behind it, whined again, and pawed at the side of the dumpster. Dwalin adjusted his shopping bag and hunkered down beside her to peer behind the dumpster.

There was _something_ back there. Dwalin could see something faintly moving, something much bigger than a cat or a rat, and hear sharp gasped breaths that did not match up with Cookie's panting.

"Hey," he said. "Is there someone back there?" Cookie certainly seemed to think there was, and pawed at the side of the dumpster again. As Dwalin's eyes adjusted to the dark, and he angled his body not to block the street lights from the road, it _looked_ like someone wrapped up in some kind of a blanket. Dwalin didn't, honestly, want to deal with people right now. He especially didn't want to deal with some kind of a drug addict of the type who would be hiding behind a dumpster.

But that was an uncharitable thought, when Dwalin had been his family's love and Cookie's support away from being homeless himself. Plenty of his fellow soldiers had ended up that way.

"I can see you there," Dwalin said, trying to keep his voice gentle. "Are you all right?"

The person behind the dumpster answered in a gasp and a hiss, not human sounds. He would have left. Dwalin would have pulled Cookie away and called Dis to see if she knew a homeless outreach program that could help--he knew better than to call the police, at least--if the person hadn't lifted their face enough he could see them.

If he hadn't _recognized_ who it was.

It was the pretty redhead. Dwalin didn't have any other name for him, didn't really know him, except that they both frequented the trails through the nearby forest. Dwalin took Cookie on hikes there all the time, and more than once he'd seen the redhead on his own jog. He was lithe and fine-boned, gorgeous with his eyecatching hair, and once he'd called out 'cute dog' on his way past, but they'd never spoken.

The redhead was always fashionable, clean and smiling and completely put-together. Not at all the kind of person you'd expect to see wrapped in a blanket behind a dumpster. Unless he'd gotten hurt, attacked by someone and dumped here? This wasn't really the kind of neighborhood where that kind of thing happened, but, gruff old soldier with a big dog, what did Dwalin know? Might be he'd just never seen it.

"Move," Dwalin ordered Cookie, nudging her aside. "Sit." She was just trying to help, but a lot of people were terrified of her. Particularly if already scared. He reached his hand out toward the redhead, not so far as to be threatening he hoped, and made his voice as soft and gentle as he could. "It's safe, you can come out now. I'm Dwalin. You've seen me in the forest a few times with Cookie. Cookie, my dog. She's a sweetheart. We won't hurt you. It's safe."

The redhead started hissing as soon as Dwalin started talking, but he stopped by the time Dwalin was done talking. He was panting, sharp breaths like a panic attack and Dwalin had been on the other side of _that_ far too many times. He knew what it felt like. The redhead's face was dead-pale and dirt smudged and his eyes wide all the way around, but fixed on Dwalin's face.

"I…" his voice was quiet, ragged. "I've seen you."

"You've seen me before," Dwalin agreed. "I'd like to help? If you just come out from behind the dumpster. Is there someone I can call for you?"

The redhead whimpered, shaking his head. "It's gone. There's no one, there's nothing there!" That was… concerning. He was obviously not _well_ , and Dwalin could sympathize with having your mind turn into your worst enemy, but what did he know about helping someone else through it? He was tempted, again, to turn and leave. Call Dis, and see if she knew of anyone who could help the redhead. Someone with training.

"You will help me." The redhead interrupted his thoughts, before Dwalin could make the decision. His chin was rising, voice shaking but growing firmer. "You will keep me safe."

"Yeah," Dwalin agreed, holding his hand out again. Help him get safely to a hospital or a shelter, he didn't say aloud.

The redhead hesitated, tugging the blanket closer around himself, and then reached out from behind the dumpster with both hands--holding on to the brick wall and edge of the dumpster instead of touching Dwalin--to pull himself out.

He had very long nails, that was the first thing Dwalin noticed. They were thick and curved into points, like claws on the ends of his long pale fingers. And then that what Dwalin had at first taken for a blanket was more of a coat, the way it moved with the redhead… a strange stiff coat that was above and behind him like… like…

Wings.

Pale feathered wings, that moved like they were alive--and he was naked, so it _couldn't_ be some kind of costume piece. Dwalin stumbled back, shaking his head to try and make it make sense, but the more he saw the more real they looked. The redhead pulled himself to his feet, wings flaring out to counterbalance himself. His porcelain body glowed in the lamplight, smudged with mud and dirt but otherwise as smooth and flawless as a marble statue. Inhuman, with his wings a halo behind him.

 _Angel_.

Dwalin stumbled another step back, and hit the end of Cookie's leash. She was still sitting, as she'd been told to. "What the fuck are you?" Dwalin demanded. He couldn't be real. He couldn't be an _actual angel_ , hiding behind an alley dumpster. That kind of thing didn't happen in the real world.

The redhead opened his mouth, paused, and curved into himself with a horrible choked wail of pain. "I don't _know_!" His wings drooped to the ground.

"Cookie." Dwalin tugged on her leash. He wasn't sure what he was trying to tell her to do, but she had her own ideas of what her duty was--and it was to comfort the most distressed person present. Her name was enough permission to move again, and she immediately pressed herself against the redhead's shins to provide emotional support and closeness.

The redhead collapsed, slowly, to his knees, engulfing Cookie in his wings and arms. She wiggled her way closer to him, tail wagging hard. His head was hanging, face pressed to her neck, and Dwalin had a completely unobstructed view of his shoulders. He could see where the redhead's wings grew into his back, could see the downy-soft feathers on his otherwise human back, between them. He could see every twitch of muscle translating to a movement of his wings.

He could see the way the redhead was shaking, like his body would shudder its way apart.

"You will help me." It was phrased like a demand, but spoken like a plea.

How could Dwalin deny him?

First things first, the redhead was naked. Dwalin quickly took his jacket off and hunkered down in front of him to offer it. "Here." It wasn't much, and Dwalin wasn't sure how he'd wear it with his wings, but it was all he could offer without getting naked himself. The redhead took it, hesitantly, and put it on backwards--arms through the sleeves and the zipper to the back. He hugged it to his chest, still shivering.

"Let's get you up." Dwalin tried to telegraph his motions, not to startle him as he took the redhead's arm. His hands were clammy-cold, but he grabbed on to Dwalin and levered himself back up to his feet. He fell toward Dwalin, leaning heavily against him, and Dwalin's arm came around him to support him automatically. His skin was smooth, slick as silk and firmer than a human's would be. One of his wings closed around Dwalin's back, feathers tickling slightly. He stank like old garbage.

Cookie whined and pressed herself against both of their legs, complicating things, but Dwalin soon had them both balanced and not about to topple over. "Can you walk?" he asked. ' _Can you fly'_ went unsaid. Later, maybe. Right now the redhead was just a person who needed help.

"N-not far, no," the redhead answered. "It took--" his breath broke on almost a sob. "It took _everything_."

"You were attacked?" What kind of a person would attack an angel? And the kind of attack must it have been to leave him stripped bare... Dwalin reached for his cellphone, stomach sour. "I'll call you an ambulance. You can make a police report and--"

"No!" The redhead scrabbled desperately at Dwalin's hand with his clawed hand, trying to shove his phone back into his shorts pocket. "No doctors, no police. No one can see me! Not… not like this, I don't have the strength left to hide. No one can know I'm… I'm… what I am."

Right. Because angels didn't exist, in the real world, and the redhead had wings growing out of his back. Probably scared he'd get dissected, or secreted away into a government bunker somewhere.

"I need to hide," the redhead hissed, wide eyes darting everywhere like every shadow in the dark alley was out to attack him. "I need someplace safe, to hide."

"My place isn't far," Dwalin said, before he could think better of it. "You'll be safe there." He couldn't take him along the main road, not naked and winged, but this alley led to another, that went behind the buildings and led right past his back garden. Sometimes he took that route, usually only when it was light out.

The darkness was a boon tonight. Dwalin supported the redhead against his side and started down the alley. It became obvious in just a few steps that _that_ wasn't going to work. The redhead was limping heavily, steps stiff and uncoordinated.

"Hold on," Dwalin said, adjusted his grip on the shopping bag and Cookie's leash, and scooped the redhead into his arms. His wings flared out in surprise, but then the redhead wrapped them close around himself and Dwalin. He had enough arm strength to help hold himself up, with his arm around Dwalin's neck at least. And Dwalin could carry him as far as his house.

"Let's go home," Dwalin told Cookie, continuing down the alley, and she immediately went into guide-dog mode. She ranged just ahead of him, with a steady light pressure on the leash leading him away from any dangers he could not see in the dark with his arms full of angel.

It wasn't far, but it still wasn't easy. Dwalin was both shivering from the chill of the air and sweaty with exertion by the time they were halfway there. The redhead was… Dwalin _couldn't_ keep calling him just 'the redhead'. They were well past the point of that. "Hey, do you have a name?" Dwalin asked.

"Nori," he answered, quietly.

"Nori, huh? Cute." Dwalin shifted Nori up in his arms to keep going. Not so much further, now. He was going to make it, even though Nori seemed to be getting exponentially heavier in his arms. It was damn lucky they hadn't run into anyone else out in their back garden at night. "I'm Dwalin."

"You said," Nori pointed out.

"Right." There, finally, his own gate. Cookie nudged the latch open with her nose, and Dwalin pushed it open with his hip to let them in. The back garden was small, and a little overgrown, but not so much as to make it difficult to make it to the back door. "Got to put you down," Dwalin warned, and gently lowered Nori to his feet to unlock the door. Getting through the door was a production, with Nori hobbling and Cookie complicating everything, but they made it without serious mishap.

Dwalin's house was small, with the kitchen, dining, and living room areas all blending into each other. He guided Nori into a kitchen chair, put the shopping bag on the counter, unclipped Cookie's leash to set her loose--and then was at a loss.

What on earth went next, after bringing an injured angel home?

Cookie seemed to know. She had already grabbed a blanket off the couch and was dragging it over to Nori, to let him wrap up in it. He took it, as soon as he seemed to realize what was happening, and curled into a ball on the chair with the blanket around himself. He was still shivering.

His skin was frigid against Dwalin's hand, when he touched Nori's cheek and neck. "Are you supposed to be this cold?" he asked.

Nori shook his head, tangled red hair falling around his smudged face that still somehow managed to glisten in the light despite the dirt. Well, getting someone's body temperature up Dwalin knew how to do. He turned the house thermostat up--warmer than was comfortable, after his exercise, but Nori was already chilled. And there was a hot water bottle in the bathroom, which he filled with hot water and brought back for Nori to cuddle.

Cookie was bringing Nori things, too. She'd so far brought him two of Dwalin's tshirts, a pair of his boxers, some socks, and a single shoe. Nori was gazing in confusion at the pile Cookie was building him, and took some prompting to take the water bottle from Dwalin. Once he realized it was warm, though, he snatched it from Dwalin's grip and clung to it beneath his blanket.

Cookie deposited an energy bar on Nori's foot, and looked up at him hopefully.

Dwalin put his hand on top of Cookie's head, since Nori obviously didn't know to. "It's all right, girl," he soothed. She'd done her job, and could relax now. She sighed and sat beside Nori's chair, head pressed comfortingly to his thigh. She'd had a good idea to give him food, if Nori ate. He hadn't tried to pick up the energy bar. "Do you eat food?" Dwalin asked.

Nori gave him a _look_ , like the question was too ridiculous to even be worth answering.

"So... is that a yes or no?" Dwalin asked.

"Yes. I eat food."

Dwalin nodded. "I was going to have chicken soup?"

"Soup," Nori sank deeper into his blanket. "Soup is good."

Good. That made things easy, that he wasn't picky or vegan. Dwalin scrubbed his arms and hands under the sink. He really needed to change his clothes and wash his whole body. He smelled like garbage, from having carried Nori, but getting some warm food into Nori had to take precedence. He put an apron on over his dirtied clothes, and that had to be enough.

It was a simple soup, he was making. Leftover chicken from the fridge, and some vegetables, simmering in broth. It wasn't too hard to scale it up to feed two, just some more vegetables and broth. It needed something else to bulk it up, though, since there wasn't going to be as much chicken per serving as he'd planned for.

Dwalin stirred the soup thoughtfully, tasted it, then glanced back at Nori. "Noodles ok?"

Nori jerked in surprise, head snapping up from where he'd been staring at Cookie. He blinked up at Dwalin, then nodded. "Sure."

Dwalin added a couple handfuls of wide egg noodles, gave it another stir, then put the lid on the pot to let it simmer. "Almost done," he promised. He got out two big bowls, and spoons. When the noodles were tender, he divided the soup between the bowls and took them to the small table. "There."

Nori snaked one leg out from his blankets, using it to scrape his chair closer to the table, and ignored the spoon entirely to grab the bowl and slurp it down directly. Dwalin flinched, expecting him to burn his mouth on the boiling-hot soup, but Nori made no sign at all of discomfort. He closed his eyes, exhaled a cloud of steam in a contented sigh, and kept on drinking.

Not human.

Dwalin remembered, belatedly, to eat his own serving. He used a spoon, and blew on it, until it had cooled enough he didn't have to anymore. Nori was done first, and retracted his arms--still clad in Dwalin's running jacket--back into his blanket. He watched Dwalin finish his soup.

Dwalin leaned back, satisfied, and finally looked back at Nori. He wasn't shaking any more, and there seemed to be some pink in his cheeks. "Better?" he asked. "Warmed up now? Need more food?" He was pretty sure he could figure out _something_ to throw together if Nori still needed more.

"Yes, better, and no I'm full," Nori said. He sniffled, rubbed his nose with the back of his hand, then looked at it with an expression of pure disgust. "I'm _filthy_."

"Aye," Dwalin agreed. There was no sense denying it. He'd be wanting to wash up, now he wasn't courting hypothermia… but first, he'd been attacked. That needed to be dealt with. Couldn't wash the evidence down the drain. "You were attacked," he said, trying to keep his voice soft. He ignored the sarcastic look Nori gave him for stating the obvious. "I have a cousin, Oin. He can…" Dwalin hesitated, then plowed on. It had to be said. "He can make sure you're all right, and collect a rape kit. He's a doctor, but you can trust him."

"No!" Nori recoiled, wings clenching in tight around him--like he was trying to hide. "I said no doctors. No." Cookie whined and pressed closer against his chair.

"Whoever did this to you--"

"It wasn't a who, it was a _what_ ," Nori hissed, interrupting him. "It was not a _physical_ attack. I was not beaten, or raped, I was _drained_. It took my--- my strength. I'm stuck like this." He flared his wings slightly, then furled them in tight again. He closed his eyes, turning his face away from Dwalin. His voice was ragged as he continued. "I'm stuck in this world, like this. I don't have the power to go back, or to look human."

Magic. Well. What did Dwalin expect? Nothing else about Nori made sense. A little sour knot in his stomach did loosen, knowing Nori hadn't been attacked the way he thought--though being drained had obviously still been traumatic.

"I'm tired." Nori's bottom lip quivered. "And I'm hollow, and filthy."

"We can fix one of those," Dwalin said. "Two. You can sleep, after you wash up. If you sleep. _Do_ you sleep?"

Nori cracked an eye open to give him a venomous glare from the corner of it. "Yes, I sleep."

Dwalin chose to ignore the glare. Nori had obviously had a very trying day. "Well, we can fix you up a bed on the couch, once you're clean. Will you be able to walk to the washroom?"

"...probably?" Nori didn't sound sure. Dwalin stood and offered him a hand. Nori stared at it for a long moment, then pushed the blanket off himself to the floor and grabbed Dwalin's forearm to pull himself to his feet. Nori's claws dug in, just a little bit, but they were blunt and didn't hurt him--just raised goosebumps all the way up Dwalin's arm.

Nori flinched a bit when his feet touched the floor. He didn't say anything, though, just leaned more of his weight into Dwalin. Dwalin put an arm around him, to help support him. Cookie wanted to help too, shaking off the blanket that had ended up partially-over her and trying to get between their legs. It was the exact opposite of helpful, at the moment.

"Stay back, Cookie," Dwalin commanded, and she huffed but obeyed. Nori didn't seem as stiff as he'd been, and he was human-warm to the touch, but he was still limping. Thankfully the smallness of Dwalin's house meant it wasn't far to the washroom. Dwalin sat Nori on the closed toilet and gestured around the little room. "Clean towels there. You'd probably be most comfortable taking a bath? You can use any of my shower stuff." He nodded to himself and stepped back to leave Nori to it.

"You will help me."

Dwalin reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose, but his hand smelled like garbage from touching Nori again and he stopped himself. He tried not to sigh. "All right." It shouldn't be all that hard. Easier, probably, than getting Fili and Kili to take a bath when they'd been toddlers. He turned the tub faucet on, rinsing his hands, and swishing the water through the bottom of the tub to make sure it was clean before filling it. "You'll have to adjust the temperature for yourself," he said, gesturing Nori to it.

Nori discarded Dwalin's running jacket on the floor, and leaned over to put his hand under the running water, then turned it all the way hot. Cookie sighed and flopped down in the bathroom doorway to watch, supervising the proceedings she was not allowed to assist with.

On a whim, Dwalin grabbed a clean hand towel and dunked it in the filling tub. He wrung it out and handed it toward Nori, very carefully _not looking_ at his extremely naked body. "Here. Wipe off the worst of it before you get in?"

Nori took it and immediately began wiping down. He dropped it on the floor with Dwalin's jacket when he was done, and climbed into the filling tub. He hissed at the temperature, and then groaned and relaxed into it. His wings spread out to either side of the tub, staying out of the water. He splashed his face, then looked over a the array of shower gels Dwalin kept stocked. He picked up a couple, reading the labels. "You have a lot of different types."

"Well, have to live out at least _one_ of the gay stereotypes," Dwalin quipped, and then bit his tongue. Nori was vulnerable and naked and stuck in Dwalin's house, and he really didn't want to make things any more awkward than they had to be. Nori didn't even seem to notice though. He dumped two huge glugs of the spiced-peach shower gel into the water and swished it around, like it was bubblebath, to make the water foam.

It's sweet-spicy scent was a lot better than the garbage smell that had previously dominated the room.

"Wash cloth?" Nori demanded, and Dwalin gave him one from the stack of clean towels. He chose a towel for him too, a nice fluffy lavender one, and put it on the back of the toilet for when he was done. Nori turned the water off, the tub being full enough, and began scrubbing himself down with the washcloth. "Clean my wings," he ordered, before Dwalin could excuse himself and let him bathe in peace.

"...ok?" Dwalin's eyes swept over Nori's wings. The feathers were smudged with dirt, the ends of the largest a touch bedraggled. "How?"

"Damp washcloth, no soap. Stroke _with_ the grain of the feathers." Nori inspected his left hand. The damp skin shone like mother of pearl, opalescent, but he seemed dissatisfied with its cleanliness and continued scrubbing.

Dwalin got a wash cloth of his own, dampened it in the sink, and sat carefully on the end of the tub behind Nori. All right. He could do this. He started, cautiously, near where the right wing joined Nori's back. Soft little strokes, following the way the feathers naturally lay. The dirt lifted easily from the feathers, thankfully, and Dwalin relaxed a bit as he continued. He supported Nori's wing, carefully, and cleaned the feathers.

If he hadn't already been convinced they were real, living wings, touching them would have been enough. He could feel the warmth of Nori's body heat through the light feathers on the inside of his wing, could feel the steady pulse of his heartbeat, could feel the flex of the little muscles within it. It reminded him, more than anything, of helping hold them when his gran would clip her laying hen's wing feathers. Wings were wings, even if these ones were built on a far larger scale than a chicken's. When he applied just a little pressure to the end joint, getting Nori to spread his primaries, Nori sagged forward and groaned like it was the most satisfying stretch in the world.

The feathers were a pale dove-gray, down feathers impossibly soft and fluffy against Dwalin's fingers, and the flight feathers sleek and smooth. They were brighter than any feather Dwalin had ever seen. They did not actually glow with their own faint light, though they gave that impression at a glance. Instead they seemed to hold on to any light that fell on them and radiate it back out, like fiber-optics.

Dwalin cleaned Nori's wings carefully, every luminous, angelic feather until they all shone. It was meditative, in a way. When he was done, Dwalin put the washcloth down. Nori seemed to have finished washing himself in the meanwhile. His flame-red hair was wet, and Dwalin noticed that the shampoo and conditioner he kept around for guests were open. He hadn't even noticed Nori washing it. Nori pulled the plug, and climbed out of the tub.

He was glowing-clean now, with water droplets rolling down his flawless body. Dwalin dragged his eyes away, toward the wall. Not perving on an angel. "Towel," he said, gesturing vaguely toward it. "I'll get you some clothes."

He did not _run_ out of the bathroom, but he did hop over Cookie and leave _quickly_. Clothes. What clothes would even _fit_ Nori? He was much smaller than Dwalin. Dwalin opened his dresser drawers and poked through his clean clothes. He had some boxer-briefs that were _almost_ too small for him, and they were very stretchy, so they would be loose on Nori but they shouldn't actually fall off. And a pair of pajama pants with a draw string would be baggy, but comfortable enough to sleep in.

As for shirts… how did someone with wings wear a shirt at all? Maybe a tanktop with big arm holes? But no, even that would be ridiculously difficult not to catch the wing feathers on. Maybe angels didn't go for shirts. It wasn't like _Dwalin_ usually wore shirts to bed, anyway, and maybe he could think of something better to offer tomorrow.

He took his offerings back to the bathroom, where Nori thankfully had the towel wrapped around his waist. He was sitting on the toilet lid inspecting the bottom of one foot. His foot was… odd. Long and narrow, which wasn't all that unusual. His toes were long, longer than they ought to have been on a human, and there was--Dwalin squinted at it, but it didn't go away--there was a sharp _spike_ growing from the back of his heel, like a chicken's spurs.

But Nori wasn't human, and Dwalin already knew that. He put the clothes on the edge of the sink. Nori's foot, other than the odd shape, also seemed to have some nasty scrapes. Nothing really bad, it didn't look like he'd stepped on any broken glass, but no wonder he'd been limping. Dwalin grabbed peroxide, bandaids, and antibiotiotic cream out from behind the sink. "Here," he offered. "For the scrapes, if you need this kind of thing."

Nori accepted, with an eye roll.

"Clothes." Dwalin pointed them out. "I'll make you a bed." He stepped back over Cookie and grabbed the spare blankets out of the hall closet to make Nori a bed. Nori hissed sharply in the bathroom, and Dwalin's feet twinged in sympathetic pain for the sting of peroxide.

The couch was a huge old thing, long enough even Dwalin could lay full-length on it. He lay out blankets and the guest pillow, and it was a comfortable enough bed for someone to spend a few nights on.

Nori came out of the bathroom and made a beeline for the couch, with Cookie protectively close to his side. He flopped onto it face-first, wings spread out, and pulled the blankets into a cocoon around his lower body. Cookie lay down in the space beside the couch, keeping watch on him.

That was… that was fine. It was fine. Dwalin had cleaning up to do, anyway. The bathroom was a mess of used towels, and all the bottles Nori had used were still open and just _waiting_ to get knocked over and spill everywhere. Dwalin cleaned the bathroom up quickly. Then he went to the kitchen to put the few dishes he'd used for dinner in the washing machine and wiped the surfaces down, and then he gathered up all the dirty laundry--including what he was wearing--and started a load washing.

Nori hadn't stirred through it all, breathing slow and quiet like he was already asleep. Dwalin turned the lights out in the kitchen/living room, and finally went for his own shower. Stale exercise sweat and the stink of garbage he'd picked up from Nori washed away--and for a moment it felt like it couldn't have been real.

Nori was still there, though, when he came out of the shower. Cookie was still beside him. That was fine. She knew she was supposed to help people, and obviously Nori needed her more than Dwalin did, right now. He went to his room, dressed in his pajamas, and crawled into bed, alone. It was still early for bed, but dealing with Nori had been draining on top of a day when Dwalin didn't want to deal with people anway.

The soft clicking of nails on the floor, and Cookie came trotting in to hop up on the bed with him. She squirmed into his arms, tail wagging hard, and Dwalin's exhale was nearly a sob as he hugged her close.

He wasn't alone. He had his Cookie, who'd look after him no matter what. It made everything so much easier. He could _relax_ into sleep, instead of laying awake for hours. His eyes were heavy already, and he breathed Cookie's clean doggy scent and pet her softly.

"Thanks, girl," he murmured. He really was tired. "Maybe I'm tired enough not to dream tonight," he mused, just to her. "Wouldn't that be a nice change."

Cookie just huffed and pressed closer to him, and Dwalin smiled as he let himself drift off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was anyone surprised this was a wingfic? Val and I have talked about doing it so much, I doubt anyone was.


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This fic isn't dead! We just got really busy for a bit.

Nori thought he was lucky, at first. He had been found by a warrior, and a healer, and they'd taken him to a place of safety. A retired soldier--that's what Dwalin was, Nori did still have his memories and knowledge of this world, at least. A soldier, and a service dog.

He felt safe, in Dwalin's house. He was comfortable, and on the right track to heal and recover his strength. The couch was soft and nice to sleep on, if a bit awkward for his wings. He was warm, and comfortably full of food, and he was clean and smelled of fruit and spices. He slept easily, through the early parts of the night.

It was in the quietest predawn hours that the illusion of safety was shattered. Nori woke, suddenly and sharply, when he felt the ice-cold presence of the _thing_. It was close, horribly close, and he threw up shields to protect himself on instinct. He was weak, still. His shields were like tissue paper. He was vulnerable. There was no way they could hold up against a serious assault.

The thing didn't attack him, though. He could feel it's malice, close, close, but not striking toward him. He curled up on instinct, claws shredding into the blanket as he gathered it close to his chest, wings tucked in tight.

He couldn't see it. His dark-adjusted eyes could see the basic shapes in the house, with the light from the street lights outside shining in through the thin curtains. Nothing moved, nothing was attacking, but he could _feel_ it, its nameless horror radiating from… from _Dwalin's_ room.

Nori swallowed down a terrified whimper, forcing himself to be silent. Tricked. He'd been tricked. Dwalin hadn't rescued him, he'd colluded with the monster to bring him to this place to trap him! He was helpless, a sitting duck. He couldn't _leave_ Dwalin's house, not while he was too weak to take a human form. He couldn't escape.

He threw everything, every last scrap of his strength, into his shields. It wasn't enough. He _knew_ it wasn't enough, but the thing didn't attack him. Taunting him. Waiting, but for what he didn't know. He shoved a bite of the blanket into his mouth, tearing at it with his teeth. If he was still and silent enough, if he held his shields long enough, maybe it would leave him alone.

It was exhausting. He hadn't had nearly long enough to regain strength, to be holding shields this way. His whole body shook, both from fear and fatigue. Maybe that's what Dwalin and the monster wanted--to wear him down, to make him easier to kill. There were human hunters, Nori knew, who specialized in hunting the weak supernatural creatures that were native to the mortal plane. Normally Nori could protect himself, could laugh at the meager danger they posed, but not now. Not when he'd been stripped down to nothing and hollowed out.

He held on, putting everything he had into his shields and knowing it was not enough, until the light of dawn began to brighten and the sound of a car door slamming across the street broke the silence of the world. His shields, flimsy to begin with, faltered and fell, and Dwalin loomed suddenly out of his bedroom.

Dwalin stank of the monster, evil cold tinging the edges of his aura. Nori was empty, exhausted, but he was _not_ going to go without a fight. He flared his wings to make himself look big, hissing defiance. It was a bluff. Nori had nothing to back it up with, and Dwalin was far larger and stronger than he was.

Dwalin barely glanced at him, just staggered away to the back door with Cookie the dog dancing in front of him. He opened the door, Nori could hear, and he tensed all over as he waited for the attacker Dwalin was welcoming into the house to rush in and kill him.

There wasn't one, though. Cookie ran out into the little garden, and then came back. Dwalin walked back down the hallway toward Nori, slow and inexorable, with heavy footfalls. Nori bared his teeth when the big warrior came into the room with him again… but Dwalin did not attack. He would not look Nori in the face, just walked past and into the little kitchen with Cookie at his heels.

There was no sound from in the kitchen, for long enough as the presence of the _thing_ faded away, that Nori dared scoot a little down the couch so he could peek into the kitchen. Dwalin was sitting at the table, head in his hands. Cookie had her chin on his knee, comforting him as he mourned the departure of the monster.


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin attempts to go about his daily routine

Dwalin would have thought Nori was just another part of the dream, if he wasn't still there on the couch--hissing like no human could, pale wings flaring wide. He looked far more like a feral animal than a person, shadowed in the faint morning light, and Dwalin left him alone.

Either Dwalin was still dreaming, or he had a real actual angel perched on his couch, and Cookie being her usual self led Dwalin to believe that he was, in fact, awake. His dreams didn't tend to feature anything like the comfort she provided. They were all burning sand, and blood, and thunderous sound.

Dwalin swallowed the familiar bitterness of them down, as best he could, pulling himself together. He had plenty of practice at it. Cookie's chin was heavy on his knee, grounding him, and her soft ears were soothing to stroke. Dwalin centered himself in the here and now, and when he was steady and awake enough not to be a danger to himself, he made a cup of tea to get the job the rest of the way done.

Tea, warm between his hands and sweet on his tongue, and then some food. Dwalin gave Cookie a scoop of kibble for her breakfast, and stood staring into the fridge for long moments before he pulled out some bread for toast, and lox to go with it. It was a good start on protein for the day.

Nori was still on the couch, staring toward him, when Dwalin looked. His vivid hair was adorably tousled around his thin face, red with hints of copper and gold in the brightening sunlight.

"Breakfast?" Dwalin offered.

Nori hissed, a long low exhale between his teeth as he drew back from Dwalin, clutching the blanket to his chest, like Dwalin had threatened him instead of offering food. Maybe he wasn't any more of a morning person than Dwalin was, these days. Dwalin finished his food, and dressed in his running clothes to take Cookie on her morning jog.

"I'll be back in half an hour," Dwalin told Nori, on his way out. "You're welcome to any of the food or tea or… whatever." He trailed off awkwardly, in the face of Nori's nonresponsiveness, as if he couldn't even understand what Dwalin was saying.

He might have stayed, tried to figure out what was going on with Nori, but Cookie whined and nosed at the back of his knee, eager to go, and he went. It was as good for him as it was for Cookie for him to keep a regular schedule. Exercise and food, light and fresh air, Cookie made sure he got it all. She was his own personal drill sergeant, but far more pleasant than any human one had ever been.

It did, typically, help to take a run morning. It was cold and wet out, but that just added a zing to Dwalin's skin as he got warmed up. He was here and alive, with his heart beating strong in his chest, and every step and every breath was a reminder. He could never quite outrun his shadows, but they were not as heavy in the light of day. Cookie was happy gamboling along at his side, and when they reached the park he threw a few sticks for her to chase, before they turned back toward home.

An actual angel in his house felt unreal, when he was out, looking at a normal world that was the same as it had always been. He had never believed in fairy tale creatures springing to life, not even as a child. Nori seemed so much like the lingering part of a dream that Dwalin was surprised when he walked back into the house to see Nori still in it.

Nori was in the kitchen holding a half-eaten piece of toast. The bag of bread was open behind him, and slices of bread strewn over the countertop. Dwalin only half-noticed that, because Nori flared his wings up and hissed at him the moment he stepped in the door--feral with his bright hazel eyes huge and his face very pale.

Then, Nori stopped hissing and cocked his head to the side, looking utterly confused as he glanced back and forth between Dwalin and Cookie.

He'd been having memory problems, Dwalin suddenly remembered. The night before, Nori hadn't been able to remember things. Maybe now he didn't know who Dwalin was or where he was? He could imagine how terrifying that would be.

"Hey." Dwalin kept his voice as soft and gentle as he could. "I'm Dwalin, and this is Cookie. You asked me to help you and hide you, last night, after you were attacked. Do you… remember?"

"I remember last night," Nori said, sharp enough to be accusatory. "You said you would help me."

"Aye." Dwalin breathed a sigh of relief, glad that Nori hadn't forgotten, but when he took a step toward the kitchen Nori took a step back, shoulders hunching in even as his wings flared wide again. His body language wasn't quite human, but Dwalin could tell Nori was afraid. Of _him_. Nori was making himself look big, bluffing like a cornered animal.

Dwalin held his hands up, showing them open and unarmed, and slowly backed away. Nori hadn't shown any fear of him last night, demanding that Dwalin clean his wings and everything. He might only now be processing his attack and realizing that he was stuck in a strange man's house. The last thing he wanted was the make the _literal angel_ in his house feel more threatened, after all he'd been through. It hurt, to be mistrusted, but Dwalin could understand. Dwalin and Cookie could make a pretty intimidating picture together.

"I'll leave you to your breakfast," Dwalin said. "You're welcome to any of the food in the house." He'd already offered that before. Dwalin closed his mouth and tried very hard to make no sudden movements as he walked through the small flat to his bedroom to change out of his running clothes. Nori watched him like a hawk, head the only part of his body moving as he watched Dwalin go.

Dwalin closed his bedroom door once he and Cookie were through it, and rubbed his face with both hands. He couldn't let himself fixate on Nori's fear, agonizing as it was to be seen as nothing but a threat. All he could do was continue to prove himself trustworthy. Dwalin changed into his work clothes, and then put Cookie in one of her cute vests so she knew she was supposed to look friendly and approachable. The pink one with a pattern of candies on it was the cutest, so that's the one Dwalin chose.

Cookie panted up at his face, tail wagging like a propeller to make her whole body wiggle with happiness and a huge pit-bull smile on her face. Dwalin had no idea how anyone could be afraid of a goofball like her. He was only human, he could be forgiven for spending a few minutes cuddling his best friend and letting her know what a good girl she was. She soaked the affection up, and her simple happiness helped calm Dwalin down.

Nori was still in the kitchen when Dwalin emerged, and it smelled like food, but Dwalin chose to ignore him. It might help Nori work through whatever he was working through if Dwalin wasn't too fixated on him and let him approach at his own pace. And yes, Dwalin was aware that he was treating Nori like a skittish pet, but it was all he could think to do.

Dwalin sat in a chair, well away from Nori's messy bed on the couch, and opened his laptop to check his work email. His family owned a few properties in the area, rented out mostly to college students, and Dwalin was the caretaker. He collected rent and did simple maintenance and groundskeeping. It was a good job for someone whose level of functionality sometimes varied. It kept him active and engaged with other people, without having too much structure or requiring him to work set hours.

There were no emails from the tenants or the family, which was a relief. Nori was as much people as Dwalin could stand to deal with today. With no emergencies to deal with, Dwalin went to his list of maintenance that needed done. Mowing lawns for one of the last times of the year seemed to be the thing to do.

While he worked on the computer, Nori had slowly crept out of the kitchen. Cookie went wagging over to him, and Nori crouched to pet her--still watching Dwalin. He was unfairly gorgeous, with the morning sun shining down on him through the windows. He gleamed like alabaster, long red hair cascading over his bare shoulders, and his wing feathers radiated so much light back out that they nearly hurt to look at.

Dwalin accidentally made eye contact with Nori over the laptop's screen and looked back down quickly, even though he had nothing else to do on it. He'd already decided what he was going to do for the day.

"I need clothes," Nori demanded, a shock in the quiet of the room.

Dwalin closed the laptop, glad of the excuse to do so. "I don't have much that would fit, but you can choose anything of mine you want," he offered standing and gesturing Nori to follow him into his room. Nori hissed. "Or… I can bring clothes out?" Dwalin offered.

Nori nodded once.

Clothes. Dwalin could gather clothes. He opened his dresser hopefully, but it had not spawned a stash of clothes in Nori's size overnight. He picked up a few tank tops with big arm holes that were intentionally small on him and would be big on Nori--tshirts he was pretty sure Nori had no way of using, button shirts likewise, a jacket he'd have to wear backward--the smallest boxers he owned, another pair of pajama pants with a drawstring. With relief he discovered a wrinkled pair of skinny jeans an ex had left behind and might actually fit Nori. His socks would be pretty big on Nori, but they'd keep his injured feet warm. Dwalin just hoped he wouldn't poke holes in the heels with his spur.

He took his offerings out to the living room, put them on the table, and backed away to give Nori space to inspect them. Nori hopped over to the couch, backdraft from his wing nearly tipping a lamp over, and began tearing through Dwalin's clothes, tossing them left and right.

"Scissors," Nori demanded, holding a black tank top up.

Dwalin owned scissors. He found them quickly in a junk drawer and brought them to the far side of the end table, within reach but not crowding Nori. Nori immediately grabbed them and cut through the back connecting piece between the arms of the tanktop. He put it on oddly, stepping through the new hole, dragging it up over his hips, and then sticking his head through the neck hole to let the cut fabric kind of dangle against his back.

It seemed like the easiest way to put something on, without having to struggle with his wings. Nori was a little more dressed, but the loose tanktop somehow made him look _more_ naked. The black fabric pooled around his narrow chest, drawing attention to the lines of his collarbone, the shape of his pecs. Beneath, the strip of skin visible under the bottom hem of the tanktop showcased just _how low_ on his hips the oversized pajama pants were riding. As Nori moved to pick a tshirt up, the tanktop shifted to the side so one pale pink nipple just barely showed. That it was almost covered made it seem so much more illicit than when Nori had been entirely shirtless, and Dwalin could feel the heat in his face as he looked quickly away.

So far he was doing a very bad job of not perving on an angel. Nori was afraid of him, too, and that thought successfully curtailed Dwalin's sudden and misplaced arousal.

Nori cut a line across the tshirt, all the way across the back between the arm holes, and put it on the same way he had the tanktop.

"Clever," Dwalin said. "Getting around the wings that way. Winged fashion must have a lot of open backs."

"That or buttons between--" Nori cut himself off, a pained look crossing his face. "I don't know how I know that."

"I have buttons!" Dwalin offered quickly. He didn't have many, but he did own a small mending kit with needles and thread and buttons. He dug around in his closet until he found it, and brought it back to Nori, who was mangling another shirt. "Here you go. Use any of them you need. Do you know how to make a buttonhole?"

Nori thought for a very long moment, eyes rolled up, and then shook his head. "No."

"Me neither." They both looked at the mending kit. "The buttonholes will probably last a few days without sewing around them?" Dwalin guessed.

Nori shrugged, not looking at Dwalin, but not quite not-looking at him either--tense, like he was waiting for Dwalin to pounce.

Dwalin backed up again. "I have to work," he said. "I'll be back this afternoon. You can use anything in the house. The guest password for the laptop is 'Cookie'. Is there anything you need?"

"I _need_ a safe place to rest and recover."

Dwalin gestured, helpless. "You have my house? As long as you need it." It was his house and his grandparents' house before him. It was all the safety he had himself and the best he had to offer. Nori gave him an eloquently sarcastic look. Dwalin gritted his teeth, fist clenching, but Cookie's cold nose nudging at his hand reminded him to breathe, relax, let it go. Dwalin would not be at his best if he was stuck in a stranger's house, either. "I'll get out of your hair," he said. "Until the afternoon." He picked up his keys and Cookie's leash and left.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dwalin attempts to go about his daily routine, but nothing about his situation is routine

Work was familiar. There were leaves to rake, and lawns to mow, and Dwalin made note of some pruning that would have to be done as the season wound down. A few of the college kids who rented the buildings were in love with Cookie, and she was happy to be cooed over and pet. Dwalin took a break for lunch at a little cafe that knew him and Cookie and didn't make a fuss about her. He worried about Nori, but he knew he had plenty of food at home for the angel to eat.

Dwalin left each one of the properties he was in charge of looking neat and clean, and headed for home with a sense of accomplishment. His phone buzzed in his back pocket, and he slowed to read it as he walked.

"Hey," it was Dis. "Sabbath Dinner at my place this week. *Somebody's* been sipping, and I'm short on wine. Oooor I underestimated how much we use when the entire family's around."

Dwalin snorted, remembering the last time the entire extended family had gathered in Dis’ house on a Friday after service, with spouses and children alike. Of course her small stash for special occasions would shrink significantly. Another text popped in.

“Grab a couple bottles of manischewitz and I'll let you off the hook for food.”

Dwalin stopped to text back, glancing down at patient Cookie at his side and then his phone again. It wasn't that he didn't want to go, but he really couldn't abandon Nori. He felt bad enough for having left him alone so long. "Sorry," he typed. "Can't make it tomorrow."

Dis texted back almost immediately. "You alright?"

"Just tired. I'll bring fish next friday. Grandad's recipe." It was a bit of work, but their grandfather's whole stuffed gefilte fish was a family favorite--perfect for a bribe. Dis didn't have the time to make it herself these days, with Fili and Kili such a handful, and Dwalin had always been better at getting the recipe to taste right, anyway.

"I'm holding you to that," Dis said. "Love you."

"You too," Dwalin signed off, and swung by the store to make sure he could make himself and Nori a good dinner at home. Rice and chicken legs with green olives made a delicious paella, perfect comfort food as the afternoon got colder, and easy to make.

Dwalin was looking forward to being home. The day hadn't been too taxing, and the amount of socializing he'd needed to do was minimal, but he was more than ready for a quiet evening to relax without his public face on. Warm food and Cookie to cuddle and maybe some funny youtube videos to laugh at sounded like the perfect evening.

The house, when he stepped through the door, was a catastrophe.

Dwalin stopped dead in his tracks. It looked like a tornado had struck. Pieces of torn fabric and food packaging plastic and cardboard were everywhere. All the kitchen cabinets were open, with canned and boxed foods and silverware thrown all over the floor. Blankets and throw pillows from the 'living room' were everywhere. Dwalin's few nicknacks and house decorations were knocked from the shelves and walls and scattered.

Dwalin slammed the door behind him, fury simmering up behind his eyes hot and fast. "What the _fuck_ ," he roared, stomping his way further into the house in search of the only possible culprit. "You little shit, I ought to--"

Nori was on the far side of the tiny living room, gray wings flaring up huge to fill the space. His eyes were wide, whites showing all the way around them. His chest was heaving beneath his loose t-shirt in the fast-gulped breaths of pure panic.

And Dwalin knew that. He knew just what that that blinding terror felt like from the opposite end. Cookie barked and body-checked Dwalin in the leg--for the second time, he realized. It was her job to break him out of it and stop him if he was in danger of hurting someone. She hadn't had to do that for so long. Anger and violence were not the correct response to anything unexpected or unpleasant. He'd worked very hard with his therapist on that. Dwalin was better than this. He'd been doing so much _better_ than this.

"What the fuck?" The words came out raw and broken this time as Dwalin stumbled away from Nori. His house was in a complete shambles, and he'd gone and threatened the frightened angel he'd offered his protection to.

Cookie herded him away from Nori, and it was easy to follow her direction. Everywhere Dwalin looked, there was more mess. He needed to take care of it, clean it up, but the sheer amount of work to be done was disorienting. Without anger to fall back on, he had no way to cope. When his back hit the wall, Dwalin couldn't formulate a plan to get around it. He slumped to the floor right there, eyes shut against the chaos.

Cookie immediately climbed into his lap, warm and heavy and grounding. Dwalin clung to her, biting back a sound that was embarrassingly close to a sob. Eyes closed and holding his Cookie, Dwalin tried to sink into a space where everything was simple and anything made sense.

Dwalin ran through the familiar grounding exercise almost on autopilot. Two arms wrapped around a big solid dog made sense. Clean dog smell made sense. The weight of a dog on him made sense. Her quick breaths were a metronome to count out his own, slower, breaths against. Sleek short fur and the canvas-texture of Cookie's vest were real beneath his fingers. The tension faded from Cookie's body as his own relaxed.

Dwalin let himself linger there in meditation, a blind creature knowing only Cookie, for he did not know how long. Nori was quiet enough not to disturb him. Eventually, though, his legs hurt from being on the floor, and his stomach growled. When Cookie whined questioningly and licked his cheek, Dwalin let himself come back up to awareness.

"Good girl," he said gruffly, and Cookie's tail thwapped him as she wagged.

The house was still distressingly torn apart. Dwalin did not look toward Nori--perched like a gargoyle on a nearby chair staring at him. He kept his focus narrow, to avoid getting overwhelmed again. One step at a time. His grocery bags were still by the front door, where he'd dropped them. He took them to the kitchen.

Food and water first. Everything was more manageable when properly nourished. Dwalin found a cup on the floor, took a dented box of pasta out of the sink, and got himself a drink of water.

Next, finding a pan and clearing off the stove so he could brown the chicken for dinner. While that got a nice sear, he cleaned off one countertop and found a knife and cutting board to chop the olives and onions and peppers for the paella. The onions and peppers softened in the rendered fat from the chicken, then Dwalin added the rice and water and seasonings--getting the whole pan bubbling before he put it in the oven to finish cooking.

While that baked, there was time to start cleaning. One small part of the kitchen at a time, one object at a time. Pick up, put back where it belongs, move on to the next. The kitchen, at least, was fairly decent by the time the paella was done.

The more Dwalin cleaned, the more clear it became that while everything was out of place and a lot of things were dented or scratched, few things were really _broken_. Nothing irreplaceable, at least.

He'd done worse himself, when he was fresh back and falling apart.

Dwalin dished up two big plates, then sighed as he looked toward Nori hiding in the still-messy living room area. There was no helping it. Dwalin added a fork and knife to Nori's plate, and carried it out to him. Nori was perched on one arm of the couch now, wide-eyed watching him. Nori tensed when Dwalin got too close, like he expected an attack.

Dwalin chose a relatively clear spot of floor and sat on it, so he was well below Nori rather than looming over him. He brushed aside some of the mess on the coffee table and put Nori's plate on it, pushing it as close to Nori as he could without crowding him.

"Chicken Paella," he explained. "You're welcome to eat here, or join me at the table. I'm sorry I yelled at you. I know you're having a rough time, and we both overreacted. I would appreciate if you can help me clean the house after dinner, but if you can't right now I… I understand."

Dwalin looked up at Nori, glowing above him with a look of complete confusion on his narrow face. Dwalin sighed and rubbed his face with his hands. There was nothing he could do to earn Nori's trust, nothing he knew how to do to help him. He wished he'd been able to get Nori to someone qualified, someone who could actually help him, if Nori hadn't turned out to be an angel. He couldn't, though. There was nothing he could do now. They were stuck together, and it wasn't doing either of them any favors.

"I'll leave you to it," Dwalin said, and heaved himself to his feet to eat at the table. He felt heavy, like there was lead in his bones, weighing him down. There was dinner to eat, though, and he could do that. He could take one step at a time. The paella was good, as usual, and Dwalin did notice Nori eating his share on the couch. That was something. At least his guest wasn't going hungry.

He ate, and he cleaned the dinner dishes, and he got the house mostly put together, again. It wasn't all bad, even. Putting the whole house back in order was as good an excuse as any to finally get rid of the junk mail and and old newspapers and receipts that tended to accumulate here and there even in a clean house. The tacky dinosaur-shaped chanukiah Dís had gotten him as a joke gift a while back had been knocked off the windowsill, but it wasn't damaged. At least he was finally getting around to putting it away--ten months after lighting the last candle on it.

The worst of it, really, was the hamsa. It had been swept off the wall, and it wasn't the sturdiest one in the world. The protective glass layer on top of it had come off, and the impact had been more than the glue could handle, knocking off several semi-precious stones and scattering them across the floor. Dwalin couldn't help the little pained noise when he noticed it. He placed it reverently atop the shelf, gathering all the pieces he could find. Theoretically it might be able to be fixed, and if it couldn't, it wasn't the most expensive hamsa in the world. It could be replaced. But it had been a gift, and _that_ couldn't be replaced.

Dwalin didn't have the energy to try and put it back together that night. There was much more that needed his attention. He had to push the pain away, and focus on cleaning up one thing at a time, one part of the room at a time, until his house was habitable again.

He was bone-weary and aching well before he was done. When Cookie prompted him to take a shower, he did that. He probably would not have, without her.

Dwalin's bedroom was mercifully untouched by Nori's destructive panic attack. Dwalin stood there in the dark for long minutes after his shower. Cookie bumped him in the back of the knee, prompting him to get into the bed. He went to the dresser instead, digging into the back of his sock drawer. Cookie whined at him, distressed, when he found what he was looking for. He hushed her and sat on the edge of the bed, cradling the cold metal in his palm until it warmed before he looked at it.

It was a simple, sturdy chain with two familiar worn tags. Dwalin traced his fingers over the stamped symbols--a number, a regiment, a religion, and a name. Thorin.

Dwalin slipped the chain over his head. The familiar weight of the tags settled over his heavy heart. He curled into bed with his hand over them to hold them there.

The moment he lay his head down, the nightmares rose up to meet him.


End file.
